Why can't I accept my boyfriend watching porn and masturbating?

Have you ever experienced this? You have a boyfriend and have been intimate with him, yet he still secretly watches porn and pleasures himself. At this point, you might start questioning if you're not performing well enough in bed, or if your boyfriend actually doesn't want to be intimate with you.

But actually, it's not such a serious issue. In fact, it's quite normal for him to masturbate. Conversely, even when girls have a boyfriend, they might occasionally want to "go solo" too, right?

Perhaps at this point, you still can't understand why your partner prefers to enjoy himself alone rather than be with you one more time. But don't worry, today Xiaoxue is here to help analyze this, which might help you out of your confusion.

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The Boundary Between Sex and Love

First, we need to view sex and love separately.

Sex. It's a physical need, just like hunger. People will naturally have sexual desires; seeing erotic videos or images naturally stirs the urge to relieve oneself, which is a physiological reaction. And how do you satisfy sexual desire? The most common method is masturbation.

Love. It's the emotion between two people. You'll have your heartstrings pulled by their every smile and action, and you'll hope for the person to always be with you.

Let's consider sex and love as two independent circles, and the intersection of these two circles is an intimate relationship between two people. Feeling upset because your partner watches porn and masturbates despite being with you means that your sex and love circles are overlapping too much. It doesn't mean it's bad, but everyone's overlap area is different, and you can't ask them to fit into your bigger overlap area, right? Being in a relationship is about finding a way for both to coexist happily rather than just demanding or compromising.

I think, as long as it doesn't affect the emotional bond, giving each other some space is perfectly fine. Watching porn and masturbating is not necessarily bad, is it? You can even watch together with him, understand what he likes, and let him know what you enjoy, enhancing the fun in bed for both of you.

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Solo and Partnered Pleasures

While being entwined with someone, feeling each other's presence and love is certainly blissful, being alone also has its own charm. No need to consider your partner, the freedom from time and place constraints.

It's really like playing a game or enjoying a delicious meal; enjoying it alone or with others are both enjoyable in their unique ways.

In any relationship, giving each other personal space can significantly enhance the emotional connection. Of course, some couples might love sticking together constantly, and that's perfectly fine too. Every couple has its unique way of being together; what's important is finding a mutually acceptable path to walk down together.